…And Now a Word From Louisa May Alcott
May 31st, 2017 by Kimberly
Painful as it may be, a significant emotional event can be the catalyst for choosing a direction that serves us – and those around us – more effectively. Look for the learning.
LOUISA MAY ALCOTT
via QuoteHD.com
Since she has the month of May in her name, it seemed only appropriate to end the month with a quote from Louisa May Alcott. I struggled with whether to use this one or “I’d rather take coffee than compliments just now,” from Little Women, which could make for all kinds of interesting interpretation. Then again, maybe I just think that because my house smells like pumpkin bread right now, and a cup of coffee would go beautifully with it.
But back to the quote I picked. Let me say, just so we can have done with it, that I hate the aphorism “Everything happens for a reason.” People, many of them religious people, love to say this when bad things happen. Yes, I get the truth in it. When you look back at life after you have reached a comfortable distance and a suitable level of contentment, you can occasionally see that something good had its first germination in that bad thing. When the bad thing has just happened, however, and you are still trying desperately to swim through the turbulent sea sea that suddenly constitutes your existence, someone saying that you are going through this for a reason helps not at all. Rather, it reinforces that someone – God, the universe, destiny, whatever – hates you enough to make you this miserable on purpose. Have a nice day!
Ms. Alcott’s quote may still not be anything I want to hear right in the thick of the mess, but it comes closer. At the very least, she acknowledges that the thing is indeed painful. When someone has suffered the loss of a loved one or a bad breakup or having their house burn down or whatever it is, their pain needs recognition. It’s like asking me what pumpkin bread tastes like and expecting me to say something besides pumpkin. Let’s get the obvious out of the way first before we try to identify notes of ginger and nutmeg. (Probably the allspice and the cloves, really – never mind.) After that, she says the event can be a catalyst for change, not that the event causes the change. In truth, if something good comes out of the bad thing, it’s probably because once you dealt with the pain, you chose to try to build something again. The death or breakup or burning didn’t do that. You did.
“Look for the learning.” I like that. It doesn’t dismiss my pain. It just offers me something else to think about. Well said, Ms. Alcott. There’s a reason you became a writer, isn’t there?
Kimberly actually prefers compliments with coffee, as long as they’re sincere.
