Eleanor and Me
Mar 8th, 2012 by Kimberly
This past week, I saw the news about Sandra Fluke having been called a slut and a prostitute for having the audacity to suggest that birth control was an integral part of women’s health.
Honestly, I really wanted to go back to bed.
When I get up in the morning and hear that once again, a woman standing up for other women has encountered hostility, I want to give up. It was a little different this time, in that, because she was talking about birth control, her detractors couldn’t call her a lesbian. (I’m sure it pained them.) That’s the go-to name for women who have the temerity to want to participate in any important conversation. (I’m not sure what sexual attraction between two women has to do with a woman wanting to make her voice heard in governmental decisions, but hey, maybe I’m just naive. It wouldn’t be the first time.)
Oh, sure, I think about running around and waving my arms and screaming, “What year is this? Isn’t it 2012?” I want to make a big stink about the fact that Congress held hearings about whether or not employers should have to provide insurance that covers birth control and didn’t really want to let any women in on the fun. I want to ask what those men would think about Gloria Steinem, Nancy Pelosi, and Jane Goodall holding a hearing about whether Viagra should come under prescription coverage.
But before any actual wailing and gnashing of teeth takes place, I get tired. Really, deep-down, bone weary. Fatigue of a sort that would cripple the Energizer bunny settles down on my shoulders, and pushes me back toward the comfort and understanding of my duvet.
I would crawl right underneath the poly-fiber fill, but something stops me. No, not my cat. (By the time I hear any news, she has already have gotten her morning tuna and treats, and is quite content.) It’s more a feeling than a voice, but I think if I had to put a name to it, it would be Eleanor Roosevelt.
Ms. Roosevelt – I think she’d like the Ms., somehow – is one of those people that always comes to mind when I get asked that question, “Who would you have dinner with if you could meet anyone, alive or dead?” Just listening to all her adventures would be fascinating, but I would love to ask her advice on current politics, too. She was a controversial figure in her day. No one had made the role of First Lady into its own job before her. Without her, there would have been no Lady Bird Johnson beautifying America, no Nancy Reagan just saying no, and very possibly no Hillary Clinton making a run for the White House. She changed the way people looked at the President’s family. Think about it: other than Martha Washington, can you name any First Ladies before her? (Edith Bolling Galt Wilson, the wife of Woodrow Wilson, may arguably have run the country for him after he had his stroke, but how many people can come up with her name?)
I can just imagine what she would say, seeing me head from my computer back to the blissful oblivion of 400-thread count sheets.
Eleanor Roosevelt: What are you doing? Get moving! Contribute to the world! “When you cease to make a contribution, you begin to die”!
Me: (Not having the energy to make actual statements, I grumble something about the world not being fair, and that leaving the house isn’t worth the bother.)
ER: Fair? Who said life was fair? “Life is what you make it. Always has been, always will be.”
Me: That’s a quote, isn’t it? Who said that?
ER: I did. I also said “It is not fair to ask of others what you are not willing to do yourself.” And right now, you’re not doing much, so you can’t complain if no one else is, either.
Me: Look, it’s good of you to come berate me, but things are different now. You were married and had kids and had an important job to do. I fed the cat. My work is done.
ER: You’re right, I had a different life. I had a husband and his mistress to deal with. I had six children, five of whom actually lived beyond infancy. I was blessed. But that “important job”? I created it. Your job is important, too, if you decide that it is. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
Me: Do you always quote yourself? It’s kind of annoying.
ER: If someone else can say the thing I’m thinking better than I can, I’ll quote them instead. “All of life is a constant education.”
Me: Life today would certainly be an education for you. Those strides you thought you made for women? Gone.
ER: Gone? You mean somehow the vote was taken away from women? Another amendment to the Constitution passed, revoking it? And women voted for this? Oh, dear. “We women are callow fledglings as compared with the wise old birds who manipulate the political machinery, and we still hesitate to believe that a woman can fill certain positions in public life as competently and adequately as a man. “
Me: No, that’s not what I meant. We can still vote.
ER: Then what’s stopping you from making the world a better place, if you don’t like it? “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”
Me: All kinds of people are stopping me. I want a world where women can choose when or whether they have children. Our presidential candidates want a world where my boss decides whether or not I get access to birth control. They also want to return to the days of abortions being had in a back alley, because despite all evidence to the contrary, they think outlawing them is going to stop people from getting them. And one of the candidates saying this early on was a woman. One of the front runners, Rick Santorum? He actually thinks birth control is evil.
ER: And who’s going to stop them, if you don’t? Yes, it’s scary, and it seems impossible. But – “Every time you meet a situation you think at the time it is an impossibility and you go through the tortures of the damned, once you have met it and lived through it, you find that forever after you are freer than you were before.”
Me: That’s fine for you to say. You were smart, and courageous, and strong.
ER: I’m glad you think so. I didn’t always. “As for accomplishments, I just did what I had to do as things came along.”
Me: I guess I forget that. No one thinks they are courageous, but some still manage to do courageous things.
ER: Careful, dear. Keep talking like that, and people will be quoting you. (Turning to go) This Rick Santorum person – is he magic? Could he snap his fingers and make the world exactly what you want it to be?
Me: No, of course not. Why do you ask?…And hey, you didn’t use one of your own quotes!
ER: Just preparing you for another. Don’t use him as an excuse to stop you from changing the world. “Never allow a person to tell you no who doesn’t have the power to say yes.”
And with that, I’d have to go out and do my best to change the world. After all – she did. I can, too.
Kimberly offers her thanks to Ms. Roosevelt and all the other women who came before her, who refused to stay where some men – not all, thank God – wanted to keep them. They will continue to inspire her, no matter how many Rick Santorums try to stand in her way. If you need inspiration, you can find all these quotes and many more by clicking here, here, and here.
Very nice Kim! Inspiring 🙂
I think having conversations with the bygone muses lurking in our mind’s hearts is as important as the writing that comes of it. We finally get to subjugate our pedantic woes to the brazen notion that we are smarter than we give ourselves credit for, cowering instead under the blessed puffy mantle of bedclothing.
Well done. I like that you get agitated and talk about it. You should. You may have felt like giving up, but look what happened! What inspired you was a reprehensible remark by an irresponsible purveyor of right-wing entertainment. Be constantly reminded how the right answers live inside of you and you’ll always find yourself inspiring and aspiring for more.
Heck, the best I could do this week was talk about time.
Thank you, Charlie. The best thing about having a blog is that it lets you sound off when you’re irritated, and you can imagine that many people have heard you.
By the way, your piece about time is fabulous (www.frankdog.com for anyone who hasn’t checked it out). I’m with you – Daylight Savings Time is completely pointless.
Inspired, Kim! How you wove these quotes together is fantastic. I am going to read more about Eleanor now. Thank you!
Oh my gosh. There are so many quotes to choose from!! Must have been a tough decision. I suggest another Eleanor conversation someday in your future writing. Here are a couple I enjoyed:
When will our consciences grow so tender that we will act to prevent human misery rather than avenge it?
AND
Learn from other people’s mistakes. We could never live long enough to make all of them on our own. (I’m writing from memory.)
Holly, I love that you did research and are supplying me with more material! Thank you! I know how you feel – she had a gift for saying things that sum up exactly how the rest of us feel.